What is Ahem?
Ahem is an Android app that turns your real phone usage patterns into app-specific AI roasts. It is part screen-time app, part behavior mirror, part public enemy.
FAQ
Questions Before You Let Your Phone Judge You
The fast version: Ahem is Android only, it uses usage statistics instead of reading your private content, and yes, the roast can still hurt your feelings.
Does Ahem work on iPhone?
No. Ahem is currently Android only because Android exposes the usage statistics needed for the app to detect detailed behavior patterns.
What data does Ahem use?
Ahem uses Android usage access data such as which apps you open, how often, and when your usage clusters happen. It does not need your message contents or private files to generate roasts.
Does Ahem read my texts, emails, or browsing history?
No. The roast is based on usage patterns, not the contents of your conversations or files.
Can I choose the roast style?
Yes. You can choose from multiple personas so the same usage pattern can be delivered with different tones.
Why would I use Ahem instead of a normal screen-time tracker?
Ahem interprets behavior instead of stopping at raw time totals. If a normal tracker gives you minutes, Ahem gives you context and a joke sharp enough to remember.
Want examples instead of answers?
If you want to see the kinds of habits Ahem catches, the pattern library breaks down late-night scrolling, fake productivity, and shopping spirals in plain language.
Start with the phone usage pattern library.